Brother of the Groom Speech: A Short Toast for Your Brother's Wedding

You're the groom's brother, but he asked a friend to be best man. That's fine, because a brother of the groom speech isn't a second best man speech: it's a short toast about growing up together and welcoming his bride into your family, and 2-3 minutes is plenty. Below: how to write a wedding speech for your brother without stepping on the best man's toes, ready-to-use openers and toasts, a fill-in template, and two short sample speeches.

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When you speak
Rehearsal dinner, or a reception slot before the best man
Ideal length
2-3 minutes, about 250-400 words
Who you address
Your brother, his bride, and both families
Tone that works
Warm family stories with one or two light jokes

Write your brother of the groom speech in minutes

Answer a few questions about you and the people you're celebrating. Toastful writes a personal draft from your own stories. See a free preview before you decide.

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Brother of the groom speech examples

Each example below was written by Toastful from the answers shown under it, so you can see exactly how your own stories turn into a finished speech. Names and details are fictional.

Example 1: Younger brother, warm with a few laughs, about 2 minutes

298 words · about 2 min spoken

Hello everyone, I’m Mateo, Andrés’s younger brother. I know I’m just the family warm-up act before Jake comes up here, but I wanted to say a few words. Thank you, first, to our parents, Rosa and Miguel, and to Tía Carmen for coming all the way from Monterrey to be here.

As kids, I followed Andrés everywhere. He usually let me tag along, as long as I carried his soccer bag—which I’m convinced weighed more than me at the time. He’s three years older, but sometimes he acted more like my third parent. And honestly, he was the parent who actually knew where the jumper cables were.

One of my favorite memories is when I was eight and I lost my retainer at the pool. Andrés dove for it for two hours, found it, and then took the blame so I wouldn’t get in trouble. He got grounded for a week, and never ratted me out. Sorry, Mom—confession comes late in this family.

Now that Andrés lives in Denver, we talk every Sunday while he cooks. He still tries to give me advice, but now I pretend to listen.

The first time I met Claire, she beat Andrés at Mario Kart three times without him sulking. That was a major character development. Then she asked Mom for the tamale recipe, and actually took notes. I texted him that night: “Don’t mess this up.”

Claire and Andrés make such a good team. Claire brings the adventure, Andrés brings the packing list. Together, they make each other braver and calmer at once, which is pretty rare.

My wish for you two is simple: keep saying, “I’ve got you,” especially on the hard days. That’s how you win, whether it’s Mario Kart or marriage.

(Raise your glass) To Claire and Andrés!

What the writer told Toastful to get this speech
Speaker
Mateo, brother of the groom
Relationship
I'm Andrés's younger brother; he's three years older. Growing up I followed him everywhere, and he mostly let me, as long as I carried his soccer bag. Now he lives in Denver and we talk every Sunday while he cooks. His college roommate Jake is the best man, so I'm just saying a few words for the family before Jake's speech.
Personality
Steady and organized. Quiet in a big group, but he notices everything. He keeps jumper cables in his trunk and actually knows how to use them.
First impression
The first night he brought Claire to Mom's for dinner, she beat him at Mario Kart three times in a row and he didn't sulk, which was a first. She also asked my mom for the tamale recipe and actually wrote it down. I texted him that night: "Don't mess this up."
Stories
When I was 8 and he was 11, I lost my retainer at the public pool. Andrés spent two hours diving for it in the deep end until he found it, then told Mom he was the one who'd lost it so I wouldn't get in trouble. He got grounded for a week and never told on me; I didn't confess to Mom until I was in college.
The couple
Claire is spontaneous and Andrés plans everything, so she books the surprise trip and he writes the packing list. They make each other braver and calmer at the same time.
Thank-yous
Our parents, Rosa and Miguel, and our Tía Carmen, who flew in from Monterrey.
Wishes
When Andrés taught me to ride a bike in the church parking lot, he ran behind me holding the seat, saying "I've got you" long after he'd let go. My wish is that you two keep saying "I've got you" to each other, especially on the hard days.
Write mine with my stories

Example 2: Older brother, short and funny (UK)

296 words · about 2 min spoken

Good evening, everyone. I’m Sanjay, Rohan’s older—and according to Mum, wiser—brother. I’d like to blame everything you see before you on the fact that I was in charge of Rohan most Saturdays while Mum and Dad were running the shop. So if you’re looking for someone to blame for Rohan’s parallel parking, I’m right here.

Growing up with Rohan was a bit like being the test pilot for a new rollercoaster—there were twists, turns, and a lot of screaming, usually from me. When he was seven, Rohan ran away from home because Mum wouldn’t let him have a hamster. He packed up a torch and four Jaffa Cakes, set up camp behind the shed, and was back inside in 40 minutes. He claims to this day he came back on his own terms, but really, he just ran out of snacks. Some things never change.

Now, Rohan’s got the biggest heart, zero sense of direction, and absolutely unshakeable confidence. Whether he’s insisting he knows a shortcut or arguing the offside rule in five-a-side, he’s always sure he’s right. The only person who can actually get him to listen? Amy.

Amy, when you survived three helpings of Mum’s lamb curry without breaking a sweat, we all knew you were the one. Mum decided you were family before you’d even finished eating, and honestly, so did I. Welcome to the madness—sorry, I mean family.

Thank you to Karen and Steve for welcoming our very loud crowd, and to everyone who made the trip from Leicester and Leeds. It wouldn’t be the same without you.

So, Amy, keep the satnav charged. Rohan, please, for all our sakes, listen to her. And both of you, never stop laughing together—even at the bad telly. (Raise your glass) To Amy and Rohan!

What the writer told Toastful to get this speech
Speaker
Sanjay, brother of the groom
Relationship
I'm Rohan's older brother by five years. Mum and Dad ran the corner shop in Leicester, so on Saturdays I was in charge of him, which means anything wrong with him is technically my fault. These days we play five-a-side football every Thursday and he still argues every offside call. His best mate from uni, Josh, is best man, so I'm just saying a few words for the family.
Personality
Rohan has a huge heart, zero sense of direction and total confidence. He will insist he knows a shortcut, get us lost, then call it "the scenic route." Also the worst parallel parker I have ever seen.
First impression
Amy came to Sunday lunch and ate three helpings of Mum's lamb curry without even reaching for water. Mum decided right then that Amy was staying. Honestly, so did the rest of us.
Stories
When Rohan was seven, he ran away from home because Mum wouldn't let him have a hamster. He packed a rucksack with a torch and four Jaffa Cakes, made it to the bottom of the garden and set up camp behind the shed. He was back inside in 40 minutes because it got dark and he'd eaten all the Jaffa Cakes. He still says he came back on his own terms.
The couple
Amy is the only person Rohan listens to about directions. She's organised, he's chaos, and somehow they have never missed a train. They laugh at the same terrible telly.
Thank-yous
Amy's parents, Karen and Steve, for welcoming our very loud family, and everyone who travelled down from Leicester and Leeds.
Wishes
Amy, keep the satnav charged. Rohan, listen to her. And both of you, never stop having this much fun together.
Write mine with my stories

How to structure it

  1. 1

    Introduce yourself as the brother, not the best man

    Half the room, especially the bride's side, may never have met you. Start with your name and which brother you are: older, younger or twin. If the best man has already spoken or is up next, one line like "I'm the brother, so I've known him a little longer" explains why you're holding the mic.

  2. 2

    Keep the thank-yous to one line

    The hosts, the parents and the best man may already have thanked everyone, so skip the full list. Add one thank-you only you would give, like the grandmother who flew in or the parents who raised you both. At a rehearsal dinner, thank whoever is hosting; in the US that's often the groom's parents, but not always.

  3. 3

    Tell one growing-up story only a brother could tell

    This is your territory: the bunk beds, the long drives to your grandparents', the summer you built a treehouse that never got a roof. Leave the college and bachelor party stories to the best man. Pick the story that shows a trait your brother still has today.

  4. 4

    Share the before-and-after only family sees

    Brothers notice things friends miss. Maybe he started calling home on Sundays, or turned up to a family holiday with a dish he cooked himself. One specific before-and-after detail says more than any line about soulmates, and it leaves the how-they-met story to the best man.

  5. 5

    Talk to the bride directly, as her new brother-in-law

    Face her, say her name, and talk to her for three or four lines. Tell her what she's getting (a seat at a loud dinner table, a spot in the family group chat, a brother-in-law who'll take her side when your brother is being stubborn) and what your family gets from her. If you have other siblings, speak for all of you so nobody feels left out.

  6. 6

    Agree who gives the tribute if someone is missing

    If someone close to you both has died, like a parent or grandparent, decide with the family and the best man who will mention them, so your brother hears it once, not three times. If it's you, keep it to one sentence about how much they would have loved the day, placed just before the toast. Run the exact words past your brother the week before.

  7. 7

    Raise the toast

    Give the room a clear cue, like "Would you all raise your glasses," then say both names. Learn your last two lines by heart so you can look at your brother, not your card, when you say them; in a two-minute toast, that moment of eye contact is the part he'll remember.

Opening and closing lines

Ways to open

  • “Hey everyone, I'm [Your Name], the younger brother. I've known [Groom] my entire life, and he has spent most of it reminding me he was here first.”
  • “I'm [Your Name], [Groom]'s big brother. I was there the day Mom and Dad brought him home, and I've been keeping an eye on him ever since. Today I'm officially handing that job to [Bride].”
  • “[Best Man] is the best man today, and he'll do a great job. I'm just the brother, which, I'd like to point out, is a lifetime appointment.”
  • “I'll keep this short, because [Best Man] has the long speech. Which is a shame, really. He's known [Groom] for [NUMBER] years. I've known him for [NUMBER].”
  • “If you're on [Bride]'s side and wondering who this is: I'm [Your Name], the brother. If [Groom] has ever told you a story that starts with "my brother and I," I apologize. It was mostly his idea.”
  • “Growing up, [Groom] and I shared a room, and he guarded his side like a border. Tonight I'm happy to report he's finally found someone he'll share it with.”
  • “I'm [Your Name], [Groom]'s twin brother. For the record, I'm the better-looking one, and he's the one who got married first, so I think we're even.”
  • “Mom asked me to say a few words tonight, and [Groom] asked me to say very few. I'm going to try to make them both happy.”
  • “Tomorrow, [Best Man] gets the microphone and the big speech. Tonight the family gets a turn, and as [Groom]'s brother, I asked to go first.”
  • “I've been [Groom]'s brother for [NUMBER] years. Tonight is the first time I get to stand up in front of everyone and tell him how proud I am of him.”

Closing toasts

  • “[Bride], welcome to the family. Today you get a husband, and a brother-in-law who will always pick up the phone. To [Bride] and [Groom]!”
  • “[Groom], I spent our whole childhood trying to beat you at everything. Today I'm happy to admit you won. To the happy couple!”
  • “Mom and Dad raised two boys who argued about everything. Tonight we finally agree on one thing: [Bride] is the best thing that's happened to this family. To [Bride] and [Groom].”
  • “Here's to the bunk-bed years, the back-seat fights, and everything that comes next. Glasses up, everyone: to my brother, and to [Bride], the newest member of the family.”
  • “[Groom], you've always been the one I looked up to. Watching you with [Bride], I finally know what I'm aiming for. Cheers to you both.”
  • “I can't promise you'll never disagree, but I can promise this: if [Groom] is ever wrong, I will tell him. [Bride], you're welcome. To the newlyweds!”
  • “For [NUMBER] years he's been my brother. As of today, she's my sister too. So let's all stand for this one: to [Groom] and [Bride].”
  • “Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding. [Best Man] gets the last word later, so I'll take the first toast: to [Groom] and [Bride]!”
  • “[Dad/Mom] would have loved today. [He/She] would have cried first and laughed loudest. For [him/her], and for all of us, to [Groom] and [Bride].”
  • “When I was little, [Groom] used to tell me, "I've got you." [Bride], now he's got you, and you've got him. To the two of you!”

Fill-in-the-blank template

Prefer to write it yourself? Copy this and replace everything in [brackets].

Good evening, everyone. If we haven't met, I'm [YOUR NAME], [GROOM'S NAME]'s [OLDER / YOUNGER / TWIN] brother. [BEST MAN'S NAME] has the big speech, so I'll keep mine short. He's known [GROOM'S NAME] since [WHERE OR WHEN THEY MET]. I've known him since [THE DAY HE WAS BORN / THE DAY I WAS BORN], so I get the early years.

We grew up sharing [A BEDROOM, A BUNK BED, THE BACK SEAT ON ROAD TRIPS]. Our parents' big rule was [A HOUSE RULE, E.G. NO BALL GAMES INDOORS], and he [HOW HE BROKE IT, BENT IT OR STUCK TO IT]. The story that still comes up at every family dinner is the time [ONE STORY FROM WHEN YOU WERE KIDS, IN 2-3 SENTENCES]. He's still that [TRAIT THE STORY SHOWS, E.G. LOYAL, STUBBORN, FEARLESS] today.

Then he met [BRIDE'S NAME], and we noticed at home first. Suddenly he [A SPECIFIC CHANGE, E.G. CALLED MOM EVERY SUNDAY OR LEARNED TO COOK]. When I first met her, [THE MOMENT YOU KNEW SHE FIT RIGHT IN].

[BRIDE'S NAME], on behalf of [ME / OUR PARENTS / ALL OF US SIBLINGS], welcome to the family. You're getting [A WARM OR FUNNY DETAIL ABOUT YOUR FAMILY], and a brother-in-law you can call whenever he [ONE OF YOUR BROTHER'S STUBBORN HABITS]. We're getting [WHAT SHE BRINGS TO THE FAMILY].

[OPTIONAL: ONE THANK-YOU ONLY YOU WOULD GIVE, E.G. TO OUR PARENTS OR A GRANDPARENT WHO TRAVELED FAR.]

[GROOM'S NAME], I don't say this enough: [WHAT YOU ADMIRE ABOUT HIM, IN ONE SENTENCE]. I'm proud to be your brother.

Everyone, glasses up, please. To [GROOM'S NAME] and [BRIDE'S NAME]!

Tips and mistakes to avoid

Do

  • Ask your brother where and when he wants you to speak (rehearsal dinner, welcome drinks or the reception) before you write a word.
  • Call the best man a week or two out and swap story lists so you don't both tell the same camping-trip story.
  • Stick to what only a brother knows: the house you grew up in, your parents' rules, the family car, the fights over the TV remote.
  • Ask your parents if they'd like you to speak for the family; if your dad isn't giving a speech, yours may be the only toast from the groom's side.
  • Talk directly to the bride for three or four lines, and tell her by name that she's family now.
  • Aim for 2-3 minutes; when you're not the best man, short and warm beats long and thorough.
  • Include one plain sentence you'd never say at home, like "I'm proud of you"; brothers rarely say it out loud, which is why it lands.
  • Practice out loud at least three times, once in front of a parent or sibling who will tell you which story to cut.

Avoid

  • Don't turn it into a second best man speech with a full roast; two roasts back to back drag, and that one is his job.
  • Don't make a running joke about not being picked as best man; one light line is the limit, and none is safer.
  • Don't share family arguments or stories that embarrass your parents in front of the bride's family.
  • Don't bring up old girlfriends in any form, including "we always knew none of them were right."
  • Don't lean on sibling inside jokes; if a story needs backstory to land, cut it.
  • Don't let childhood eat the whole speech; save at least a third for the bride and the two of them.
  • Don't wing it because you know him better than anyone; knowing him that well makes it harder to choose a story, not easier.

Frequently asked questions

How long should a brother of the groom speech be?

If you're not the best man, aim for 2-3 minutes, which is about 250-400 words spoken at an easy pace. The best man usually takes 3-5 minutes, so a shorter brother's toast keeps the evening moving. If you're one of five or six speakers at a rehearsal dinner, 90 seconds to 2 minutes (about 200-250 words) is plenty. If the couple gives you a full reception slot, 3-4 minutes is fine. Time it out loud with a stopwatch; reading silently always feels faster.

How do I write a wedding speech for my brother?

Work backward from your slot. Ask your brother when you speak and for how long, then text the best man so you know which stories he's telling. List memories by place: your old bedroom, the family car, holidays at your grandparents'. Pick one story that shows the man he grew into, add one change you saw after he met his bride, two or three lines to her, and the toast. Read it to a parent or sibling and cut any joke only the two of you would get.

My brother picked a friend as best man. Should I still give a speech?

Yes, if your brother or your parents would like one, and it's fine to ask. Many families add a short sibling toast at the rehearsal dinner, the welcome drinks, or just before the best man at the reception. Your angle is different anyway: you have the childhood and family side, he has the friend years. If you feel a little stung, that's normal. Keep it out of the speech, or make one light joke at most.

When does the brother of the groom give his speech?

It's up to the couple, so ask them or whoever is running the evening. In the US, the rehearsal dinner is a natural fit: it's often hosted by the groom's parents, and family toasts are common there. At the reception, a usual spot is just before the best man. The traditional UK order is father of the bride, then the groom, then the best man, so a brother's speech is an extra slot, usually placed before the best man, who closes.

How do I avoid repeating the best man's stories?

Message him a week or two before the wedding and swap story lists. A simple split works well: you take everything up to when your brother left home, he takes college or uni, work and the bachelor (stag) weekend. If you both love the same story, let him have it and pick another; you have a whole childhood to choose from. Settle who thanks the hosts, too, so they aren't thanked three times in a row.

Can I give a short wedding speech for my brother?

Yes. A short wedding speech for your brother can be 60-90 seconds, about 150-200 words: who you are, one quick story, two lines to the bride, and the toast. A short brother wedding speech works especially well when you're not the best man, when you're nervous, or when several people are speaking. The trick is choosing one story, not three, and ending with a clear "please raise your glasses."

Is it okay to mention a parent who has passed away?

Yes, if your brother wants it, and as his sibling you may be the right person, because it's your loss too. Agree with the rest of the family and the best man on who will say it, so it's said once, not in every speech. Keep it to a sentence or two near the end, about how much they'd have loved the day rather than how much you miss them, and share the exact words with your brother beforehand.

How does Toastful help with a brother of the groom speech?

Tell Toastful about your brother, his bride and a story or two, then choose a tone and a length (short suits this toast). It writes a personal draft from your own memories in about a minute, and you see a free preview of the opening first. Unlock the full speech from $9.95, one-time, with a print-ready PDF and cue cards, or $17.95 to also get a 60-second toast and an alternate-tone version. Both come with a 30-day money-back guarantee.

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