Non-Religious Wedding Ceremony Script: A Warm Secular Ceremony, Start to Finish

[Processional. Guests stand as the wedding party enters. Hannah enters last. Guests are seated.]

Welcome, everyone. Please, have a seat. Take a breath. You made it to the barn, and the hard part is over.

My name is Priya. I have been Hannah's best friend since we were roommates freshman year at UNC Chapel Hill. Over the last five years, Theo has become a close friend of mine too. I got ordained online for today, and this is my first time doing this. So we are all in new territory together. Hannah and Theo, thank you for trusting me with this.

We are here to celebrate two people who love each other and who want to say so in front of the people they love most. Look around. Everyone in this barn is here because Hannah or Theo, or both, matter to you. That is a lot of love in one room.

[To the guests]

Before we begin, Hannah and Theo want to thank their parents. To both sets of parents: thank you for raising two people who knew how to love well. Thank you for being here, and for everything that got us to this day.

A special thank you to Linda, Hannah's mom. In a little while, she will tie the cord she braided for the handfasting. We will come back to that.

We also feel the absence of someone today. Theo's grandfather, Walt, died last year. He taught Theo to fish, and he taught him patience along the way. We wish he were here. We carry him with us today.

[Pause]

In a moment, I will invite everyone to join me in a few quiet seconds of reflection. Pray, think, or simply be still, in whatever way is yours. Let's take that moment now, for Walt and for everyone who is with us in spirit.

[Moment of silence, about fifteen seconds]

Thank you.

Now, let me tell you how these two found each other.

In 2019, at a Tuesday trivia night in Durham, Theo's team beat Hannah's team by one point. One point. Most people would gloat. Theo felt bad, so he sent a basket of fries to Hannah's table as an apology. And that is how the best thing in both their lives began: with a basket of fries and a narrow victory.

They have done trivia every Tuesday since. Hannah, I think we can say you won in the end.

Last spring, Theo took Hannah on a hike up Mount Pisgah. At the top, he read her a trivia question. It was a fake one, and the answer was "Will you marry me?" Hannah, you knew that answer. And here we are.

[Reading]

Hannah and Theo have asked Hannah's brother, Sam, to read Shakespeare's Sonnet 116.

[Reader: Sam reads Sonnet 116. Sam returns to his seat.]

Thank you, Sam.

[Officiant's address]

Hannah and Theo, I have watched you for years, so let me say a few things about you.

Hannah plans everything. Theo improvises. That could be a recipe for trouble. Instead, you meet in the middle. She gives him a map, and he finds the good detour. He gives her room to breathe, and she gives him something to lean on.

In 2022, Hannah lost her job. That is a hard thing. Theo made her coffee every morning and sat with her while she wrote cover letters. He did not try to fix it. He just stayed. That is what love looks like on an ordinary Tuesday morning.

And you still leave each other notes on the fridge. After all this time, you still say little things out loud, or on paper, and that is not small at all.

So here is my advice, and it is mostly stolen from you. Keep showing up. Keep making the coffee. Keep leaving the notes. Meet in the middle, even when the middle is hard to find. And when you lose a round, try sending fries.

[Declaration of intent]

[Note, not spoken: Legal wording requirements for marriage ceremonies vary by place. Please check North Carolina requirements locally and adjust the declaration as needed.]

Hannah and Theo, please face each other.

Do you, Hannah, take Theo to be your partner in life? Will you love him, support him, and stay beside him, in good times and hard times?

[Hannah: "I do."]

Do you, Theo, take Hannah to be your partner in life? Will you love her, support her, and stay beside her, in good times and hard times?

[Theo: "I do."]

[Vows]

Hannah and Theo have written their own vows. Hannah, would you like to begin?

[Hannah reads her vows.]

Theo, your turn.

[Theo reads his vows.]

[Rings]

Rings are a simple thing: a circle with no end. They remind us of the promise you just made.

Theo, please place the ring on Hannah's finger and repeat after me.

Hannah, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and my promise. I choose you, today and every day.

[Theo places the ring and repeats.]

Hannah, please place the ring on Theo's finger and repeat after me.

Theo, I give you this ring as a sign of my love and my promise. I choose you, today and every day.

[Hannah places the ring and repeats.]

[Handfasting]

Now we come to the handfasting. It is an old tradition of tying hands together to show that two lives are joined. This cord was braided by Hannah's mom, Linda. Linda, would you please come forward?

[Linda comes forward. Hannah and Theo join hands.]

Linda made this cord with her hands, and with love. As she ties it, know that you are held by family, by friends, and by each other.

[Linda ties the cord and returns to her seat.]

Hannah and Theo, this knot is a symbol. What really holds you together is the choice you make each day. Choose it often.

[Pronouncement]

Hannah and Theo, you have promised yourselves to each other in front of the people who love you. By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you married.

You may kiss.

[The couple kisses.]

[Presentation of the couple]

Friends and family, it is my joy to present to you: Hannah and Theo, married at last!

[Recessional. The couple exits, followed by the wedding party and family.]

[Processional. Guests stand as Grace walks in. Taco the dog enters with the rings.]

Please, everyone, have a seat. Not you, Taco. You're working.

Welcome, everyone. I'm Lucía, Mateo's older sister. By three years, which I mention often. I taught him to ride a bike, and today I get to help him do something even harder: get married in front of 40 people on folding chairs.

We're gathered in this backyard, which has seen a lot. Barbecues. Dog fosters. A proposal. Today it gets its biggest event yet.

[To the guests]

Thank you all for being here. Every one of you is part of why these two are standing here happy.

Now, a special hello to Abuela Rosa, who is in the front row, because of course she is. Abuela, this one is for you.

[In Spanish, to Abuela]

Abuela, te queremos mucho. Gracias por estar aquí.

And to the families of Mateo and Grace: thank you for raising two people who knew a good thing when they saw it.

Let me tell you how this started. In 2020, I brought my coworker from the hospital to Mateo's 30th birthday barbecue. That's Grace. I'd like it on the record that I introduced them. I remind Mateo of this constantly, and I plan to keep going.

Grace beat Mateo at cornhole. Four games in a row. Most people would have gone to get another burger. Mateo asked for a rematch. That rematch turned into dinner, and dinner turned into this.

Two years later, right here in this yard, Mateo proposed in the middle of a cornhole game, with the ring tied to a beanbag. Grace said yes before he had finished asking. Mateo, that's how you know it was the right answer. She didn't even let you finish the speech.

Here's what I've noticed about these two. Grace is calm. Mateo is loud. It works. He cooks, she does the dishes, and she plays DJ from her phone, so everything they do has a soundtrack. They also foster rescue dogs together. Eleven so far. They kept one. That's Taco, our three-legged ring bearer, who is doing great and has not dropped anything yet.

That tells you who they are. They open their home, they make room, and they take care of what needs caring for.

[To the couple]

So here is my advice, and it's short. Keep the calm and the loud; you need both. Let the person who cooks be thanked, and let the person who washes up be thanked too. Say sorry fast. And always ask for the rematch.

[Note, not spoken: Legal wording requirements for the declaration of intent vary by place. Please check the rules for Texas and Bexar County before the ceremony.]

Mateo and Grace, please face each other.

Mateo, do you take Grace to be your wife, to love her, respect her, and laugh with her, in good times and hard ones?

[Mateo answers]

Grace, do you take Mateo to be your husband, to love him, respect him, and laugh with him, in good times and hard ones?

[Grace answers]

Now the vows. Repeat after me.

[Mateo repeats each line]

Grace, I choose you.

I promise to love you honestly.

To listen, even when I'm loud.

To stand beside you through everything.

And to keep choosing you, every day.

[Grace repeats each line]

Mateo, I choose you.

I promise to love you honestly.

To keep you steady, and to enjoy the noise.

To stand beside you through everything.

And to keep choosing you, every day.

[Taco brings the rings forward]

Thank you, Taco. Good dog. Best ring bearer we've ever had.

Rings are a circle with no end. Mateo, place the ring on Grace's finger and repeat after me:

[Couple exchanges rings; each repeats]

Grace, take this ring as a sign of my love and my promise. With it, I give you my heart.

Grace, now your turn:

Mateo, take this ring as a sign of my love and my promise. With it, I give you my heart.

Mateo and Grace, you have promised yourselves to each other in front of the people who love you most. By the power of that promise, and with the authority given to me by this very proud sister, I now pronounce you married.

[The kiss]

Mateo, you may kiss your wife.

[Pause for cheers]

Friends and family, it is my joy to present, for the first time, Mateo and Grace Ortiz!

[Recessional. The couple walks out with Taco leading the way.]